Seeing a youth changing dramatically from his/her lost ways is the best gift for us youth pastors. So, I decided to share the story of one of them with you.
I'm not who I was
Sunday, April 19, 2009
"Is there any worse enemy than yourself?
Some one who knows all your weaknessess and flaws, leaving your
life to hang on an empty shelf.
You try to go on living your life's dreams, trying to fill
others false expectations.
Making you want to cry and scream.
You try and focus, but all you can do is compare
yourself to others and notice how useless you can be.
You've made no change here, the universe is only the same.
So why try everyday, if there's that person who is better
than you'll ever be?
You try to unlock your true self,
but you can't find the key.
You finally feel good about who you are, until you step outside
You see all these people intimidating your soul,
burning it to the the core.
You don't feel good about yourself.
You never do.
A compliment is like a drug.
You want them so bad, they make you feel so good,
you dream of the day they will actually come true.
It is the Ultimate High.
But then you see that gorgeous person, that original kid you
wish you were.
The high goes away, though you thought you were sure,
and you feel like the only compliments you've recieved,
were only to tease.
You realize that all those things that person's said,
Were repeated words into other's heads."
I just found this poem I wrote around this time last year. It amazes me
how much God has transformed my life since then. The way I used to
think of myself was completely negative. I would have a smile on
my face daily, but I felt no fulfillment in my life.
I would always be worried about what people thought of me,
that I tried to fit in anyway possible. Even if it meant going
against my morals.
I was lost, always seeking attention. It didn't matter if it was
good attention, just as long as I got it.
I had so many problems, but didn't know how
to deal with them. I rebelled, I cursed, I lied, I based all my
decisions on emotions.
I feel so thankful and blessed that God has filled my emptiness.
He has overflowed my life with happiness.
Yes, I still go through hardships, but unlike before, I know that
I have an Almighty God by my side, who will NEVER leave me.
His attention is all I need.
His love is the most beautiful gift. I can't thank Him enough for
all that He's done for me, and for never ever leaving me.
I adore you my God.
BEFORE & AFTER
YPG Pasadena, Texas