Never Been Kissed!

I know these guys for about 6 years now. They have been faithful YPG members since I can remember. They never rushed with their love life. Never pushed, but trusted in God. The rest is history. I'm very happy for them. Just read below.

'We all know how it feels when you’re in school and puberty hits. All of a sudden you are highly aware of yourself and how attractive (or not) you are to the opposite sex. Suddenly, passing that spelling test is not as important as being the only one without a boyfriend. God forbid that you can’t contribute to those conversations about the “best kisses” and “greatest sexual experiences”. Unfortunately, that’s the world we live in today.

So, picture this: A 16 year old girl, in her last year of school is with a group of her girlfriends and the subject turns to boys. She smiles and nods as everyone makes their comments - no matter how outlandish - just as long as they don’t ask her! Then they start going round the group and everyone starts talking about their first kiss... Her brain frantically starts working its way through all the excuses, fancy stories and blatant lies to cover up the fact that… “Whaaaat!” they say. “You’ve never kissed anyone?!” The roar of laughter and the mountain of ridicule bring a heat to her face - so hot that all she can do is shrug her shoulders. “But you’re so late. EVERYONE has kissed by now!” they taunt. “Are you a lesbian?”

I’m sure you get the picture now. Could you feel the embarrassment of that poor girl?! Now imagine that same conversation – only this time the girls are 20 years old. Find it hard to think of? Surely not these days... Now imagine they are 23; or even 24?

It’s kind of hard to imagine that sort of scenario in today’s world. But why should that girl feel embarrassed or ashamed? Did she do anything wrong? No. Do you expire if you don’t kiss a boy by a certain age? No. So think about this: Who do you want to share your kisses with? Or rather, who should you want to share your kisses with?

I’m not talking about the platonic Hollywood air kisses reserved for acquaintances; or the peck on the cheek that you give to your family and friends. I’m talking about that kiss. Yes, the one you dreamt of sharing time and time again with that one special person you love...Now ask yourself: What happened to that dream?

The problem is that so many young women no longer believe in true love or even in finding ‘the one’. So now a kiss is just a kiss. Nothing more. No meaning. It's a quick one with a random you just met at a club; a passionate one with your latest boyfriend (that you’re not really that into...); or the crazy one due to an outburst of excitement at Glastonbury... There’s no denying that the kiss no longer has the value that it used to.

Well, I admit it, the girl in the story is me. From a young age I dreamt of falling in love, getting married and all of that good stuff! From as long as I can remember I had that dream. It was as though it was embedded as part of my original design and I held onto it like it was the truth. It was only when the complexes and peer pressure set in that my dream started to fade. When boys seemed to give me a wide berth... everyone else was dating... and magazines confirmed that I was behind the times...I was desperate to catch up. However, I didn’t want to be sharing things I considered private with just anyone. “So, who was going to be my prince?” I thought.

After a painful and fruitless journey of desperation (and still no kiss!) I finally learnt that my ideals were not so “behind” after all. After discovering that ‘There’s Only One’,I changed my perspective. I learnt that I was meant to be with one person: a person I loved and who loved me in return; someone with whom I was compatible. So, I made a vow to myself and to God that I would hold out until someone proved themselves worthy of me; someone who would appreciate all the love and sacrifice that I was prepared to give. While you’re waiting, you have a great opportunity to grow as a person and think carefully about the kind of person you want to be with. If you don’t know what you want then how can you find it? There is someone out there for you and even if you don’t believe it, it doesn’t mean that it’s not true. You’ve lost your dream because something or someone has stolen that from you. Get it back. Take it back! He is out there.

If you believe in this as I do and as I did back then, waiting for the right person to give yourself to won’t seem like such an arduous task. If you value yourself in the way that you should (you are unbelievably special by the way, if you only knew…), then you will thoroughly check out every suitor, to ensure that he is indeed suitable and compatible. Any nice guy won’t do. Now the thing is, we are only human and can only see so much so I advise you to pray - even if you don’t usually. My theory back then was that if God really did exist, then when I was praying for my future husband, in that very moment, God could see exactly who he was even when I had no clue. And if I could believe for one moment that He would honour my request, then the future of my love life was safe and I could concentrate on other things.

How many frogs do you have to kiss before you find your prince? My answer is none. If you do your investigations right, you can expose the toads, the frogs and the frauds. At the end of your trials you will find a few real princes and then after further research and testing, you will find theone for you. Don’t let time, society or the changing morals of this world bully you into giving up your sentimental values and dreams. Be proud of being “behind” for the sake of sticking to your convictions. Once you get to that point in your life when you’ll be free to give yourself to that one person at the right time, you’ll be glad that you waited. If you’re reading this and you say "But I’ve already kissed (or more) many frogs!" Don’t worry; this is not some purity pledge. More like self preservation. Sometimes we do things because we don’t know better or we have been victims of great deception, but we don’t have to keep doing them. You must have found a few frogs! Challenge yourself and stand up against anxiety. Prepare yourself to receive your prince. Find out how a true prince really acts, lives and treats his princess. Wait.'

My Wedding Day 24/07/2010

By Denice Allen

YPG - United Kingdom

*From www.thepurpletouch.com